~tenks62

I never update this thing...
Ever...


I just thought I'd say that so people would stop seeing my old journal when someone stops by... ya know, once in a blue moon.




I can't changed the little icon that says depressed up there.

18 now.
life=uncertain.


I'll keep this simple, and just copy my mypsace blog... which I will warn anyone without a myspace, to never get one. It eats sanity, babies, brains, and Mormans.




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...in my head says things aren't the same.
Just another year, but I know this one is different. It's graduation time already... My life has really hit that point... sure, not my graduation, but many of my friends.
And they're leaving.
Some whom could even be going off to war some day soon.
I thought about it, and it's true... all the time we have have been miss'n won't be given back. The days of sitting in the park and just talking about everything that comes to mind, are not only soon at an end... but they're also gone... nothing more than a memory to us now. And memories do nothing but ease the pain of knowing that those days are over.
What's worse, is I have no idea where I'm going... and I'm running out, running out of time to think about it all. Soon enough I'll be out of 11th grade and into my senior year... I feel like I need to find the emergency break on life and pull it up with all my might, some days.
What am I gonna do? My skills in art aren't anything great... and I don't believe they ever will be. My skills in computers hasn't enhanced any in the past 2 years because everything I look to refine my skills in it, just tries to teach me stuff I already know. And those are the only two jobs I'm really cut out for.
I could work on my bass skills... but I know I'll never make it big because, well, when was the last time you heard of a hit band from Alabama? Besides, music is dead now'a'days... you have to become generic to get anywhere... but that's a totally different topic.
If you're wondering why I don't look on the bright side of things, and why I never think that anything I do is good enough, it's because I've never really had anyone to cheer me on, or some real critique when I've needed it. No one to ever push
me to strive for anything besides meritocracy.
I've lost all real good friendships I really had except for a few, and it's times likes these that really make me regret it. It's times like these that make me see how spiteful towards some people. It's times like these that make me miss who I've been...
And,
It's time likes these that make it easy to see,
That it's time to move on with my life.

I haven't posted a new journal in a while.... so I guess I should do that.
Check there.


If you've been wondering what's been up with me ever since may when I posted my last journal, well, things are better for the most part.
I got more into my art, but with the cold weather stiffening my joints and the holiday times leaving me with little time to draw, I've just been half-assing it and not working on too much new artwork.
I did start working on some new designs for Mark and his new crew that I may even get around to making a comic for.

On a list of things I should do... I should really learn to drive better... I keep saying that, but I'm gonna apply for a job soon, and if I am going to work I need a way to get there eh?
Also, I need to go read Michelley's comic over again. I miss her sooo much. :[ Plus it's a great comic but I forgot where I left off, so starting over will help me out.

There are a ton of other things I need to do, but those are just some.
It's cold out...
It's cold IN for that matter...
Damn heater...


Talk to you all soon!
~Matt-Tenks!

Go! Evil Homework Monster!
Matt Fainted!

AHHHH!!!
MAD EXPERIENCE POINTS FOR KILLING MATT!


Don't ask me... I'm playing pokemen and trying to relax...
I'd like to point out that I named my little guy in the game "WTF?!" because it pleases me and makes me giggle when they say "WTF?! THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO USE THAT!" or "WTF?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Anyways, Journal Joural Journal...
Well, for the 2 or 3 of you who might read this, you might like to know that I'll be out of school by next week. That means I may actually finish some postable artwork that I will surly think sucks.
Man I am so stressed out. School and life are getting to me... I am soooo glad that summers almost here because I can't take much more of this...

I hope to accomplish a few things this summer, such as:

Learning to drive a damn'd auto-mobiiiiile,
Getting a better hair-do,
Getting some clothes that actually fit me,
Playing more pokemen games XD ,
Prefecting my dance skills,
Writing a song that doesn't have the word "baby" in it,
AND LEARNING TO LOVE AGAIN!!!

If you can't tell, I'm trying very hard to relax, and silliness is my only outlet... but yeah, If I can complete at least 3 of those things, I'll be happy.

Havn't posted in forever, haha

Anyways... lets see... what's happened since my last post back in November?

Got a digital camera, and a printer for christmas.

I'm 17.

Got a cell phone.

My school was hit by a tornado while we were all in it.

I've questioned life way to many times.

Lost control of my mind.

Learned that Xanex is my new best friend.

I'm trying to find how to live and be happy, all the while knowing that it could all be over in a second.

And I'm getting paranoid about every single thing that's wrong with me...

Hell, right now I feel like I might have a blood clot in my lung. heh... I really need to stop going on webMD.


Also... I've been drawing a lot... most of it's just not getting done yet so I can't post it... I've also been doing a lot of photography work... not because I feel like I'm awesome at it, but because it just really makes me happy to get to take pictures... that and I have about a whole gig on my camera to do it with! MUHUAGAGA!

love,
~Matt/tenks